Whether it鈥檚 with a friend, family member or significant other, our relationships can be a supportive and meaningful aspect of our lives. While they can be a source of fun and happiness, we all have to put in effort and time to keep these relationships working well. Consider these tips for strengthening current and new relationships.
Know and stick to your values
Our values are the aspects of our lives听we believe to be most important. Our values generally determine our priorities and influence our actions. When our actions and our lives generally align with our values, we feel pleased and satisfied; and, when they don鈥檛, we can feel sad, stressed or conflicted.
While the people we have relationships with don鈥檛 necessarily need to have the same values as us, it is important the relationship supports our values. While we often need to compromise to keep our relationships working well, these compromises should still be true to our values. Compromising at the cost of our values can put us in an unhealthy place that doesn鈥檛 feel quite right.
Get reasonable and honest with expectations
Each of us has a variety of needs and we often look to our relationships to help fill those needs. Sometimes we expect others to support us in ways that are unrealistic听or in ways of which the other person simply isn鈥檛 aware. By understanding our own expectations and reflecting on how we communicate our needs, we can avoid being let down and find the kinds of relationships we鈥檙e looking for.
Listen to hear, not to respond
Effective communication is more than just hearing and understanding the words someone says. While the who, where, what and when are important, understanding the why is vital. We understand the why when we really focus on being an active listener.
When a friend tells us about their busy day, we may respond by telling them all the things we also have going on or we may jump in with ideas to fix the problem. If we focus on being an active listener by keeping the conversation focused on what they鈥檙e saying and refraining from immediately offering solutions, we might see that our friend just wants to feel heard and supported. Active listening allows us to take a step back and be the kind of friend we鈥檇 like to have.
When we think about our relationships with others, sometimes we need to start by examining ourselves. When we know what we expect to get out of a relationship, we have a much better idea of what鈥檚 going to work in that relationship and what won鈥檛. Effective and open communication helps both people feel like they鈥檙e on the same page and allows each person to ask for what they need听while staying true to their values.
